our son

This is my Sam. Today is his birthday. At 8:35 pm. He took a liesurly 21 hours to come into this place we call a world. And even then, he was literally pulled out. With clamps. Five years later, I still feel the effects of the cracked tail bone from birthing him when sitting for long periods of time.

He wears a reminder in the form of two scars on his side of how much our little family went though and considered "normal" as we had nothing to compare having a baby too, since he was our first. Three months after he was born, he had kidney surgery. His left ureter tube was closed shut beneath his kidney, so his kidney was enlarged. This was noticed during my ultrasound when pregnant with him. After lots of tests, getting to know the urologist very well, he was put under and went through a three hour procedure to have part of his kidney cut out and the closed portion of the ureter tube cut out and reattached to his kidney. We lived in the hospital for a week. Then we came home.

Life was going great. Then he got sick. In one day I went from the doctor, to the hospital for blood work, to the urologist for an ultrasound and then back into the hospital where Sam was put under again to have a tube inserted through his back directly into his kidney. There was some scar tissue that had built up from the surgery and his kidney wasn't draining as it should have been. The tube was to relieve the pressure on his kidney so it could heal properly and acted as his ureter tube. At the other end of the tube was a bag that we had to empty daily. Amazingly enough, the tube never came out. He had it in for three months. We rejoiced the day it was taken out for good. Thankfully, he wasn't even crawling yet, so he never messed with it, or I'm sure we would've had several trips to the emergency room to have it put back in.

It's easy to forget all that we went through that first year of his life. He's as healthy as a little boy can be now. The past four years have slipped between my fingers too quickly that I can barely remember him as a baby, toddler and then preschooler. Now we have a boy ready to embark on kindergarten.

I never really connected or had that "bond" with him when he was born. I distanced myself very far away from him so I could get through all the tests and surgerys and be there for him and take care of him. I look back and see how that has affected my relationship with him and how I wish I could go back and bond with him more and love him more. I know I can't do that, but I can love on him more now and share life with him now.

Oh my Sam. We named you after 1 Samuel 1:20b "Because I asked the LORD for him". You are a huge blessing to us. God has made you with a heart of laughter, a spirit of love and compassion and a being that is 100% boy. You are a protector of your little sister. You can not walk around a puddle, but have to go through it. Even with your good shoes on. You love the outdoors, even when it's a balmy 2 degrees. Your dad is your best friend. Every ounce of your body lives life to the fullest.

I pray that you will come to know your Maker, that you will be an awesome leader and friend, that you will love your wife with your whole heart, and that you will live your life to the fullest and show God's love to others through your words, actions, and become the man God has made you to be.

I love you.