Friday, June 29, 2007

flying by

Sitting here working today, I realized I've been doing this job for 7 years. So I stopped and revisted the past handful of years of life.

Moved to our first house.
Sam was born.
Experiencing all the firsts of a baby, including some extras like surgery and hospitals and changing bandages and needles.
Potty training.
Backpacking trips with a toddler.
Moved to our 2nd house.
2nd baby and all the firsts with her which did not include extras.
Totalling our only vehicle.
10 year anniversary.
Backpacking trip with a preschooler and toddler.
Turning 30.
Ups and downs.
1st day of school.
Being broken.
Experiencing the depths of Christ.

Time lived, not lost.

Thursday, June 21, 2007


It's really ironic how the post below can mean something totally different now. When I wrote that, things were not happening like we expected them too. In the weeks that have followed, life has taken several different turns, but the thoughts below still apply. I need to continue keeping my hands open, even if what is happening (or not happening) does not line up with what we like. Of course, it's not at all about what we want, but what God wants for me and us as a family, which is going to be SO much better than what we ever expected.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Surrendering open hands to the Maker's will does not come easy.
A war between self will and His.
Clenched fists.
10 fingers.
Holding on so tightly.
White knuckles.
Realizing that you HAVE to let go.
To surrender the frustration.
The worry.
Ever so slowly the fingers open.
Not out of force, but of one's own choosing.
Each joint creaks.
Until palms are open.
To let go.
And receive.
Being vulnerable.
Washed in peace.
Deep rest.

Friday, June 01, 2007


It's raining. And thundering.

It's 2:37 a.m. and thanks to some knucklehead kids running down the street yelling at each other, I am wide awake.

My other half is gone for tonight and tomorrow scouting a trail. I hope he's fast asleep, snuggled in his sleeping bag.

Kids are snoring.

A nice breeze is coming through the window.

An ant on steroids crawled across my arm and scared the begeebees out of me.

I'm not a big fan of the dark.

I do like listening to the rain though. My favorite place to listen to the continuing cadence of water drops is snuggled up next to my husband in a tent.

I should probably go back to bed.