Friday, December 23, 2005
These are my most favorite people in the world whom I love with all of my being. God has blessed me with the most wonderful, awesome husband who cherishes me and loves me no matter what and who says I'm the most beautiful woman. My kids whom I absolutely adore. Who show me what unconditional love is and are a daily reminder of God, happiness and joy in two small packages. Ed, Sam (4 1/2) and Alina (1 1/2).
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
This is my friend Anna. We've only known each other for three months and she is someone who has encouraged me spiritually to seek out God right from the moment I met her. She has pushed me and sure hasn't let me stand still in my relationship with Christ. She is one of my core soul friends whom I am so blessed to have in my life. Along with my three peeps below, I am very thankful for all of my friends.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Here are three of my good friends. Jenna, Becky and Anne. We are in a small group compiled of the four of us. We've had mani's and pedi's together, gone to a dinner theatre, carved pumpkins together, laughed lots together and have had our ups and downs and we're still all friends. :) These are my girls who are close to my heart.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
So here I sit, so very much wanting to go to sleep. It's 11:23 pm and I have 37 minutes still to stay awake. You may ask if I'm practicing for New Year's Eve. Possibly staying up to see what's on this oh so late hour at night. Wondering if I'm becoming an insomniac (though i wouldn't be tired... or would I?). The answer could be yes to all of the above, but I digress. Today's the 15th. For only 35 more mintes though. 15th means end of the pay period for my job. Data entry via the internet. I can not complain as it has been amazing to be able to stay at home since Sam was born 4 1/2 years ago. It's just nights like these, where I'm so tired that I can't even remember what I started talking about in the first place. Something about Christmas? no...wait...um...valenti....no that's not it either. I'm too tired to even move my eyes up the lines to see why I even started this conversation (though am I conversing with anyone but myself?). huh...must be really tired. 33 minutes. That was a very slooowwww four minutes.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
I have to say last night was one of those heart melting moments for me. I was getting ready for an outing for the evening when my 4 1/2 year old son, Sam, came into the bathroom and said, "mommy, is there anything I can do to help you?". Melt to goo all over the floor, I did. Then a few more minutes he comes into my bedroom and said, "mommy, can I help you with something?". More gooey meltiness of my heart. Those little glimpses of his heart make me love him all the more. And those are the times that I'm speechless and times to pack away in my heart to bring back out at a later date and time when I will be wishing for him to be this age again.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
So these past few months have been crazy emotionally (and no, I'm not pregnant). My faith in Christ has really changed. Having to depend on Him soley has become something that I have glimpsed. It has been a hard season of my life, and I don't want to have to live these past months again. But one thing I have learned is that the only person I can depend on is God. I'm not one to explain things well, but I do know this: over the past year or so, I have really not had an open communication with God and have desired just that, but just couldn't attain it. Now I have it b/c I came to a point in my life where I realized He's the only one I can depend on, and so to depend on Him, I've had to talk to Him, which in turn opened the flood gates of hearing him. Learning to listen and hear God has been difficult for me to learn, but the experience has been nothing short of amazing. I so want to cling to this experience, this closeness. I deserve none of this, but isn't that one of the things that God is about? Showing mercy? Treating me like I don't deserve to be treated? So I, in turn, can show mercy (and grace) to others? I have had to show grace and mercy when I didn't want to, and the result was the beginnings of a restored friendship. How amazing it has been!! Though, all of this that I've talked about, has been a choice. Chosing to depend on God, chosing to show grace and mercy, chosing to hear Christ and chosing to listen to Him. I had to let go of myself, which was not very easy as I wanted to cling and harbor the bitterness and hurt and be angry. This has not been an overnight process, but weeks. And still daily, I stuggle with taking everything back into my own hands and keep living life without depending on God. It's not easy having faith in Christ, but oh so very worth it and I would not trade these experiences or my faith in Christ for anything.