Thursday, June 25, 2009

my brain can't even wrap around what i want to write.
too tired to push the shift key to capitalize words.
it's fried.
and then some.
who knew vbs could take so much work!
some songs, crafts, throw in a bible story and that should do it.
being on the parent side of it is so much easier than the planning side.
time to go rewrite some curriculum.
see you in a few weeks.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

more than just words

The other day I read these words which are a snipit from my friend Matt's most recent post.

I remember the day I killed the weeds.

It was after hearing my teaching pastor talk about forgiveness. He said that forgiveness is seeing the debt someone owes you and being willing to say “I’m not collecting.” That hit me deeply because that was my deal- I was still waiting to collect. I wasn’t plotting revenge through a series of menacing deeds but I held onto the debt the same. I just wanted it to be even. I wanted the scales of justice to balance out. I wanted my name cleared. I was waiting for a letter, an email, a phone call saying “I made a terrible mistake. I was wrong.” I would have settled for an “I’m sorry.”

In that moment, as those words rang both painful and hopeful in my ears, I made a decision- a decision that was as much simple as it felt impossible. I stopped collecting. Seriously. I’m not just saying that. In the midst of a bitterness that was choking the life right out of me, I stopped collecting. I felt the weeds that had been coursing through my heart die right then and there. I felt the cold roots of bitterness ripped from the earth. Through strength that was not my own, I completely freed my debtors. And that day, I myself was freed.

I've read over this portion many times and pondered his thoughts over the past days. I've been waiting to collect. For years.
But after reading Matt's words, it hit me square in the forehead. Bitterness has been literally choking the life out of me. Throw some anger and fury in the soil too and you've got a nice steamy place for lots of unhealthy things to grow. I've been holding hands deep in my soul with something that has been causing roots of bitterness to seep up into the rest of my being and into my heart.

I am praying that someday soon I will be able to truthfully say, "I'm not collecting. Or seeking justice. Or desiring my name to be cleared." To be free by only God's grace and strength.

So thank you Matt for your heart words.

To read the entire post and more of Matt's amazing writing, just click here.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Today I sit.
It is 12:00 and I am still in my pajamies.
I may hit a couple g-sales this afternoon, but then again, maybe not.
No plans.
No running around.
No work.
Just rest.
I may just stay in my pj's until dinner.
My body informed me last night that it needs a rest after 40+ hours at work this week and then home life intertwined with the MIL here and end of school.
So I need to listen or else a crash and burn ending will take place.
Very, very soon.
And nothing good could come of that.
I was in bed by 8:00.
So today I sit.
And rest.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

cookbook and cookies

One of my all-time loves are cookbooks. I love the pictures. I love reading every recipe. I love when there are pictures OF the recipe outcomes.

Another of my loves is cookies. So many options, so yummy with milk, or ice cream, or warm, or by themselves. So over on Brown Eyed Bakers Blog, you can jump on the bandwagon to enter to win a cookie cookbook! What can be better than that?? It's the best of both worlds!

Head over here to enter!