the big expedition

Yesterday was an absolutely gorgeous day here in MI. So, off we went to the zoo. It's still free, so that made it even better. I went with some friends and their kids. So three moms, three strollers and six kids under the age of 5 (four kids under the age of 2). It was quite a fun day. We figured out when heading out of the zoo, a list of what the boys would say that they saw, that would've been their favorite things. Listed are the main excitments they saw (we gauged this by the way they stared and sat the longest at). The tractor (it was more like a 4-wheeler) that was carting supplies around. The truck that was hauling lumber. The little waterfalls. The backhoe. The ducks (they were at the entrance so it's what they saw first and last). And the biggest thing of all was a floating stick. To all of these things, I kid you not. We all shook our heads at this and all were so very thankful we didn't waste one cent on a floating stick.

a flicker

Recently, I've been yearning for a space to call my own. A place where I can go and be quiet. A place to meet with my Maker (even though I talk to him throughout the day). A little get-a-way of sorts. A little space that's mine. Why I've had this yearning, I'm not sure. But it's there. A flicker of something that wants to burst into flames. Standing on the edge of something. Every morning I find myself laying in bed for a good 15 minutes praying and thinking. To have an area where I can pick up God's word, journal, think and pray lights something inside of me. I feel right now there are more questions than answers in my life. Will this space give me answers? Possibly. It'll give me the opportunity to search my heart, God's will and my life as to what is going on and what's with all the questions and discontent surrounding me. Hopefully this weekend I'll get a glimpse of my space as Ed has rearranged it in his mind to help me fulfill this desire inside of me. For this I love him more because he wants to help me find my way and be apart of my journey.

confusion

Yesterday on the way home from picking up Sam, I saw this.
Now, to me, this is very strange. Especially in MI. Some other places, it may not seem so out of the oridnary, but for here, I thought it was....
And they were walking on the biking trail where many a dogs are walked daily.
I'm not exactly sure of what to think.
First thoughts that ran through my head were laziness, sadness for the dog b/c it was not getting any exercise, and it kinda looked funny. A person wearing a dog...
I noticed I was not the only one gawking at these people standing along side the road ready to jay walk across a busy street.
But again, this is just me....

our son

This is my Sam. Today is his birthday. At 8:35 pm. He took a liesurly 21 hours to come into this place we call a world. And even then, he was literally pulled out. With clamps. Five years later, I still feel the effects of the cracked tail bone from birthing him when sitting for long periods of time.

He wears a reminder in the form of two scars on his side of how much our little family went though and considered "normal" as we had nothing to compare having a baby too, since he was our first. Three months after he was born, he had kidney surgery. His left ureter tube was closed shut beneath his kidney, so his kidney was enlarged. This was noticed during my ultrasound when pregnant with him. After lots of tests, getting to know the urologist very well, he was put under and went through a three hour procedure to have part of his kidney cut out and the closed portion of the ureter tube cut out and reattached to his kidney. We lived in the hospital for a week. Then we came home.

Life was going great. Then he got sick. In one day I went from the doctor, to the hospital for blood work, to the urologist for an ultrasound and then back into the hospital where Sam was put under again to have a tube inserted through his back directly into his kidney. There was some scar tissue that had built up from the surgery and his kidney wasn't draining as it should have been. The tube was to relieve the pressure on his kidney so it could heal properly and acted as his ureter tube. At the other end of the tube was a bag that we had to empty daily. Amazingly enough, the tube never came out. He had it in for three months. We rejoiced the day it was taken out for good. Thankfully, he wasn't even crawling yet, so he never messed with it, or I'm sure we would've had several trips to the emergency room to have it put back in.

It's easy to forget all that we went through that first year of his life. He's as healthy as a little boy can be now. The past four years have slipped between my fingers too quickly that I can barely remember him as a baby, toddler and then preschooler. Now we have a boy ready to embark on kindergarten.

I never really connected or had that "bond" with him when he was born. I distanced myself very far away from him so I could get through all the tests and surgerys and be there for him and take care of him. I look back and see how that has affected my relationship with him and how I wish I could go back and bond with him more and love him more. I know I can't do that, but I can love on him more now and share life with him now.

Oh my Sam. We named you after 1 Samuel 1:20b "Because I asked the LORD for him". You are a huge blessing to us. God has made you with a heart of laughter, a spirit of love and compassion and a being that is 100% boy. You are a protector of your little sister. You can not walk around a puddle, but have to go through it. Even with your good shoes on. You love the outdoors, even when it's a balmy 2 degrees. Your dad is your best friend. Every ounce of your body lives life to the fullest.

I pray that you will come to know your Maker, that you will be an awesome leader and friend, that you will love your wife with your whole heart, and that you will live your life to the fullest and show God's love to others through your words, actions, and become the man God has made you to be.

I love you.

the call

Today I received a phone call. A very unexpected phone call. It was 2:20 this afternoon. My cell phone rings (we have no land line). This little voice comes over the phone. "Hi Mommy!!". I'm thinking...um....aren't you at preschool? And then, do they know you are using the phone? I hesitantly say, "Hi Sam". Ed looks at me like, "what in the world?". Exactly what I was thinking. The next words out of his little mouth were, "I learned my phone number today!". My heart just stretched. Stretched so much it almost broke. How I love my son. He was so excited. He got to call home because he learned his phone number. How grateful I am that at his school they include the parents in on even little things and let moms and dads experience their child learning. Filled my heart right up.

It was almost snack time, of which he took to school today for his birthday. Chocolate chip muffins. So off he went to proudly pass out his little muffins we made today. Oh my littleSam I Am is growing up. Way to fast.

Perspective

So today I've been chatting and reading about perspectives in life. And was reminded to remember the blessings when things seem to be getting yucky in life. Money is always an issue to me, in that something is always breaking and needing fixed. Right now it is our septic tank. Though it doesn't need fixed, just needs replaced. Which, of course, costs money. Lots. Of. Money. Money of which we don't have. But hence, this is where I was reminded of blessings. What are the blessings in my life? My home. Even when it's a mess, it is my safe haven. Love is here. My man. He confides in me. Treats me like a queen. Kisses me first thing in the morning. Tells me I'm beautiful after hiking for a week in the mountains with no shower. He is amazing. Friends. They push me. Pray for me. Love me for who I am. My kids. They are an example of unconditional love. They forgive and forget. Instantly. What an example to me of God's love. He forgives me. Loves me unconditionally. Cherishes me. Carries me. Listens to me. Has blessed me with tons of blessings. Family, friends, health. I can either wallow in misery over what is happening, or give it to Him, and keep giving it to Him when I take the misery back upon myself. Life could be a whole lot harder. With that, I need to be thankful for the life that I have. Not perfect by any mean, nor easy. It's just my perspective and how I choose to live today. Either crappy and filled with misery. Or thankful, which I think is so much harder to do than crappy, but much more worth it.

Book Club

I'm in the last throes of completing the Book Bingo for the library. I have 12 book types left. I'm reading The Scarlet Pimpernel (Classic) right now. I read two books this morning. Because of Winn-Dixie (NY Best Seller) and Mackinac (MI author). It took me a total of an hour to read both. I've seen Winn-Dixie, so I could scan it quickly. The 2nd one was eh. So easy to read b/c it was so slow and boring! I still need a Horror book, Thriller book, Historical book, Biography and some other ones. Why I kept the hard ones until last, beats me. Procrastinating. It didn't help that the library was closed for a week and a half. I ended up leaving the library with 22 books. I remember reading S.P. in highshool, so I figured it couldn't be too hard if I was able to read it 10+ years ago. Ok..more like 15+ years. Wow I'm old. :) For the Bingo, if you fill two rows, your name gets put in a drawing for a $20 gift certificate. If you fill the whole thing, your name gets put in for the final drawing. 36 people win $50 gift certificates and one person wins a $500 vacation. It ends the 31st of this month. I need to get cracking....Luckily I like to read. So much so that I haven't been working enough. oops!

the library

I love the library. But I think there's some sort of curse or I get all the weird things. It started about a month ago when I popped in a tape for Sam to listen to and it was really weird. I turned it over. Same thing. It was playing backwards. I tried it on a different tape player. Same thing. It was kinda freaky actually. Took it back to the library and informed them of it. I'm thinking, "how can you put a tape in backwards?".

Monday I went to the library again. Picked up some books for Alina. I was reading one to her today when I turned to a page, and it was upside down. At first I thought it was one of those books that you have to go to the end, turn it upside down and it's a different book. Nope. Not this one. The 2nd page in, it was upside down and it was the same as the 2nd to last page of the book. This time I DID NOT intentionally read the end of the book to find out what happens. Honestly I didn't. The end just happened to be at the beginning. Plus I knew that the animals would get all 10 apples up on top. So I wasn't too surprised.

I wonder what's going to happen the next time I go. Maybe I'll find $100 that someone used as a book mark.. Or a love letter stuck in between the pages. Or maybe a book that has all the pages right side up.

The doctor

Monday was d-day for my son. He had to go to the doctor for his 5 year check up. He didn't know yet that he had to get three shots. I waited until that morning. Then I broke the news. He refused to get them. I informed him that if he really wanted to go to kindergarten, he had to get them. He wouldn't change his mind. I finally took a toothpick and poked his arm (with him knowing mind you). I told him that that was what it was going to feel like. After that, no problems. All during his check up he kept saying to the doctor, "don't forget about my shots." "What about my shots?". "Don't forget about the shots!". I was thinking, great! This is going to be a breeze. He was absolutely fine even when I was holding his arms down while he was on my lap. Once those needles went in, a whole different side came out. I've never heard him scream so loud. I should've realized to wrap my legs around his. The nurse ended up on the ground from him kicking her in the stomach. Oh it was fun. Alina started screaming too because he was. So I had two screaming kids on my hands when the nurses left. When he finally calmed down, the only statement I heard was, "I HATE shots. I never, ever want to get shots again!". I took him out for hot chocolate and chicken nuggets. He was all better.

Now he's the shot giver. Inflicting his past pain on his little sister. "Don't move Alina. This is going to hurt! Don't move". She comes running, screaming to me and he's right behind her. "Hold still! You need a shot!". Oh the joys of role playing.

St. Patricks Day

Happy St. Patricks day to all!!
This is a day for corned beef and cabbage.
A day to wear orange if your protastant or green if your catholic.
A day to drink a Shamrock shake.
A day to scrounge the yard for a three leaf clover.
A day to not get pinched.
A day to get kissed.
And a day to pronounce scone the right way (rhyme it with lawn).

And you may ask, how is it you know all these tid bits? Being half Irish, I was brought up being taught to wear orange. My dad immigrated from N. Ireland. And little did I know that being a child of an immigrant, I have dual citizenship too. Anyone want to take a trip? :)

Happy St. Paddy's Day!!

list

I have 25 minutes before I can go to bed. Jay Leno is on, which I never see. While the house is sleeping, I'm still wide awake waiting for work to come in for the last few stragglers over on the west coast. So...I thought I should just let every one know my next few days as I may not be able to write.

Tomorrow consists of a friend coming over for lunch around 11, so in preparation, the house needs cleaned up. And laundry. Always laundry. Then it's band practice in the evening.

Friday I get to go pick up a free piece of 20x21 carpet at my son's preschool that they're giving away. I really don't even care what it looks like. Anything is better than dried out smushed banana in green carpet that doesn't come out. Then it's another friend coming over for lunch, Sam to school and the hubby out that night to a Hookah place (which he won't be partaking in) but to listen to music of a friend.

Saturday is a day at home.
Sunday is to church early to play and then to Lansing to see family from TN.

Naps need to get in there somewhere.

My battery is about to die. I'm going to bed early (is 11:41 really early)? :)

What would you do?

While laying in bed last night at 11:30 I came up with a question. What would you do if there was no such thing as laundry? I was stumped. I couldn't imagine life with not having laundry hanging over my head and multiplying in the corner like bunnies. I think I'd bake. Or take a nap. Or sit and read. Or do nothing at all and dwell in the quiet of the house not shaking and the lights pulsing to the washing machine.

The princess party

This past Sunday we celebrated our little princess' 2nd birthday. I made a doll cake, pulled pork sandwiches and had family come over to celebrate the birth of our daughter two years ago. Crazy how time flies. Some presents she got were a dolly (whom shy deems as "baby" and goes no where without it), a little pink tricycle and a cute princess university outfit. Oh and a sleeping bag for camping this summer. It was a very busy day as Ed and I were on for praise team in the morning, came home, got everything around, everyone came to eat, open presents, eat cake, left, put the kids down for a 45 minute nap and then headed back to church. I'm looking forward to this weekend where we are doing absolutely nothing except go to Krispy Kreme for fattening doughnuts tomorrow morning.

catch-up

So it's been awhile and I need to catch up. Here's what's been happening in life:
1. everyone is still sick. Hubby, son, daughter, mommy.
2. 2nd b-day party this past weekend with a sick little girl.
3. women's retreat last weekend that a sick mommy shouldn't have went to, but did anyway.
4. pre-school conferences.
5. kindergarten information meeting for Sam.
6. one diaper remaining in the house that has to last the entire day as the one vehicle is at work with hubby b/c son is sick, so no need to go to school today.
7. amazingly the house is clean.
8. I found a $25 Bath/Body Works gift card that I lost a year ago. Yipee!!!

Sad, sad day

I know it's a sad day when I have M&M's, Reece's PB cups, jelly beans AND half of a cake all sitting in front of me and four cartons of ice cream in the freezer and nothing, not one thing, looks appetizing one bit. There is no shortage of chocolate in my home. Any one need any??