I know today a lot of people, our entire nation, is remembering five years ago. The day our nation changed forever.
I remember that I had turned the news on that morning. I didn't usually watch the Today show, but on this day, I did. I don't even remember what they were talking about, but I do remember Matt Lauer stopping, putting his hand to his ear and there being silence. Silence on a live morning television show does not happen. Ever. I thought, "that's really odd". Then the words, "We have reports that a plane flew into one of the Twin Towers." What?? That's crazy. I don't think they believed it either. That it was some type of hoax.
So I stood there and watched.
I don't even remember breathing.
Then they had a crew down by the Towers. Showing America what was going on. Then out of no where I saw another plane come in. Flames and then smoke. I saw it happen. Standing in my living room. It is seared into my mind forever. It wasn't a replay of something. It was happening as I breathed. My brain kept saying that it was happening somewhere far away. Like a different country. A different culture. A different world. That it wasn't real. That it wasn't happening just hours away from where I was rooted to the carpet. I couldn't fully grasp what was going on. It was so chaotic. So horrible.
I called Ed. I remember not being able to get through. Phone lines were jambed. I kept trying to call and call and call. Finally I got through and told him what I had just witnessed. I hung up to watch more horrific scenes play across the screen.
Then the phone rang. It was my friend in VA. We witnessed the towers fall together. Seeing the people run through the streets. The traffic jams. The fire and smoke. The ash colored people walking around in total bewilderment.
6 hours. We were on the phone together for 6 hours. She was pregnant with her first. Sam was 6 months old. We talked about what this would mean. From this moment on, life will be different. What it will mean for our kids.
I still get the shakes and and chills thinking about it. I can't watch replayed scenes of it on television. I look away from stilled images. It hurts too much as all the horror comes crashing back into my mind of that day.
And I squeeze my kids tighter. Kiss my husband longer. Lift up thanks to Jesus for us being alive today. This moment.
My quote in college was, "This is the first day of the rest of your life.". Cliche I know. But true. We can't live yesterday. But today, I can make the most of each moment that God has so amazingly blessed me with.
For today I can be thankful.