So here it is. 11:32 p.m. I'm wide awake with no thoughts or visions of sleepy land anytime soon. My mind is going way to fast to slow down. I shouldn't have watched The Godfather II or maybe it was the first one. All's I know is that all the blood got to me and I'm actually afraid to close my eyes. I really don't like nights like these. Where my brain is ramping up scenarios of conversations that probably will never take place. Where feelings that I thought were dead and buried, resurface unannounced. Finding myself ensconced in an inner battle between who I believe God made me to be and the steep, slippery slope of who I know God did not create me to be. Realizing that it's easier to slide down the slope than follow my true Compass.
With midnight rapidly approaching, I hope to close my eyes and join the rest of the family in sweet, deep, peaceful slumber. To put these thoughts, feelings, ideas and images away for a few moments, to be brought back out in the light of day where I can fully see, with a non-sleep endused mind what God would have me do and what direction He points me in.