There's a battle waging inside of me. A mom battle. Last night Sam was telling me about one of his friends who's parents fight and yell at each other and slam doors. How his friend is so sad because of what is happening with his mom and dad and that they don't live together any more. It broke my heart in pieces. For this little boy. For his parents. Sam knows about divorce and separation. About so many things I never knew until I was older. I told Ed I don't want him to have to know these things! That he's only 7! I want to shelter him from the real world. I don't want him to even have to worry that what several of his friends go through and have gone through with their parents is going to happen to his mom and dad.
Then there's the other side of me that doesn't want him going into the world so naive that he won't know how to thrive or be able to care for others' hearts or how to make good choices.
It was an eye opening experience last night. I found out that he doesn't worry that Ed and I will get divorced. I explained to Sam that mom and dad do have disagreements but we always talk through things and figure it out. That we love each other very much.
I want this house and our marriage to be a sanctuary for our kids. A safe haven full of trust, joy, laughter. That here we can work through things and be respectful of each other no matter the age or difference. That we can always speak our minds without question. That Christ is evident in our actions and words. That when our kids are grown they will thrive in a world that will be so different than the world Ed and I grew up in. That they won't be scared of it but will go into it with confidence because of all they experienced and learned growing up in this family.
10 comments:
you're a good mom, jean. i like these stories about how you mother your kids!
thanks sarah. :) i'm still learning as i go. :)
Jean, your kids are so SO fortunate to have to have you and Ed as parents. And I think the fact that Sam is not worried shows how much you have ALREADY made your home into the place you describe.
Keep on keeping on, momma! You are amazing! :)
Thanks Hillary. :) It's so easy to let life speed by and get so caught up in routine to get through the day. I'm so thankful for Sam and Alina and want so much to teach them well.
I'm right there with you, Jean. I want to shelter my kids too, but you're right that they need to be exposed to those things in order to know how to deal with them when they're older. Being parents is tough, but it is evident in the life you and Ed live that you make God first place and your kids are more aware of that than you realize.
I am SO not ready for these kinds of decisions and questions. I am happy to get through the day with my kid sleeping and eating and pooping when she's supposed to!
Well said, Jean. As parents, we want to do everything in our power to raise our children up to the highest heights. We just don't want them to have to experience the all the falls...
Mike and I don't really ever fight and when we do disagree, it's away from the children. I agree with you, I want our home to be a refuge in any storm they may be experiencing. Keep doing the great job you already do-you're an asset to this world...
Ren
Thanks Amy...I hope that's how our kids see us. :)
I'm totally there with you Anne and I must say that you are doing a great job being a great mom. :) That wee one is blessed for sure!
Thanks Ren. :)
Yeah, even though Ryan's parents are divorced we just haven't had to have the actual conversation yet to explain what that is and what it means. But I know we can only live in our bubble for so long. I am just keeping them there as long as possible.
Our bubble has become less and less over the past couple of years. I'm so glad we grow with our kids and we don't have to teach them everything the moment they come home from the hospital. :)
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