choices

Making choices is sometimes one of the easiest things to do and sometimes one of the hardest things to do. It is unbelievable how many choices come to head each day. Little choices like what to eat for breakfast or when to brush your teeth. Larger choices like the severity of discipline your child should get after disobeying comes a bit harder. Choosing a budget and sticking to it. Internal decisions/battles that can affect your being or catapult you back to square one. An array of choices.

I made a choice awhile back to take a break from something that was part of my everyday life. It was made after hearing the pastor of our church talk about taking one thing to fast from and try it for a month. Evaluate after the month and one would find that if a person can live without it one month, why not try for another. How in turn, fasting from something external can affect your internal thought process and the choices of what should/shouldn't be said out loud.

So I prayed about what to fast from and a month later, like a two by four upside the head, I was clearly given an answer of what to fast from. I made it a month. Two months. Then that little voice said, "You can make the choice to stop fasting. You can handle it. You've made it this long and are stronger now than you were months ago. Go ahead." The voice was so faint. Barely above a whisper. Hardly noticed. Unfortunately it was listened to and acted on. The choice was made to indulge and how quickly I sped right back to square one. You would think, "Lesson learned. That will not happen again." Square one has been visited more than once.

That little voice is so persistent. Every day. Day in and day out. It doesn't give up. It also doesn't get any louder, but keeps a steady beat that doesn't skip. Barely audible until I realize almost too late. Funny thing...it doesn't tell me the consequences I will face if I make the choice and accept what it says. That would obviously defeat the entire purpose.

I have had outs. I have taken the outs to keep myself in check. For these I am so very thankful. Prayer, husband, friends, accountability, and learning to change the thought processes and just some.

Overall it has been a very good choice. I am glad my Lord brought it to my mind
and that despite how hard it was to give up, I obeyed. Have failed, learned from the failure, failed again, had to learn again and humbly ask for forgiveness and continue on. Thankfully He is a forgiving Savior who grants grace that is so undeserving and is there to help in all my choices. Easy and hard. Day in and day out.