Tuesday, January 30, 2007

not there yet

I'm finding that I am not a patient person when it comes to waiting. Not waiting in line, or waiting for the water to boil, but waiting for answers. Waiting for opportunities. Waiting for the change that we've been anticipating over such a stretch of time. Today brought an answer that is going to bring forth more waiting. The answer was not one that was expected or well liked. Honestly, I did not appreciate the answer one bit. But that is something that I, personally, need to weed through. So we wait. Again. Different roads are coming up and we wait to see which will be traversed. I am not handling this well and really prefer to just ignore it, but it's right in my face day in and day out, so it can not be brushed under the rug. I hope on the other side I can look back and say that I learned from this waiting period. That I grew. That I did not become bitter or harbor ill thoughts. I hope the same for my husband. That when we do reach a pit stop, receive an answer, come to the oasis in the trying desert journey, that we will be able to look across from where we journeyed and see how we were given enough water along the way to make it one more day. And realize that the wait was absolutely worth it.

5 comments:

Hillary said...

Oh dear heavens, I sure hope the waiting is worth it, too. You probably have an inkling of what I'm taking about. I'm having a hard time of it these days, I tell ya.

God, let us trust you in the waiting times.

Jean said...

Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about Hillary. :)

Amen and amen.

anne said...

My dear Jeanie-beanie-boo-bear, the time to wait is here but the time to rejoice and celebrate will come soon. You will one day think that this time was so short and hardly a blink at all. Right now is the worst, the waiting is the hardest, even if you knew what the outcome would be, you would want it to be here now.

You're not alone.

Jean said...

I know when the waiting is done, it'll seem so fast in coming. My head knows all these things. It's just the heart that feels all of what is going on. ;) Thanks my sweet Anne.

kerrianne said...

I completely and totally second your feelings. Chris and I are in a similar situation.

I hope the wait is over soon. :)