I came to a realization last night. Ed and I were sitting on the couch chatting and I was finally able to put into words how anxiety hits me. With getting a "no, sorry, we picked someone else" phone call about another job yesterday, I started to once again worry. It's interesting though, that I don't become anxious when I worry. It's an after affect. I worried throughout the afternoon and into the evening. Pray. Worry. Give it back to God in prayer. Take the worry back. I know the verses to say, but letting them penetrate my heart is another thing.
My heart and mind finally rested after the kids went to bed. That's when the anxiety hit. Not being able to catch my breath to the point I think my lungs are going to explode from the pressure if I don't. That's when I realized the anxiety hits when I relax. So then I can't relax and end up part of the night wide awake thinking through all sorts of scenarios that don't even make one iota of sense.
Funny how God works, though. He placed us in a church where I am attending a women's bible study of which I knew no one the 1st night and will be doing a study called Calm My Anxious Heart. How fitting.