Friday, October 03, 2008

I came to a realization last night. Ed and I were sitting on the couch chatting and I was finally able to put into words how anxiety hits me. With getting a "no, sorry, we picked someone else" phone call about another job yesterday, I started to once again worry. It's interesting though, that I don't become anxious when I worry. It's an after affect. I worried throughout the afternoon and into the evening. Pray. Worry. Give it back to God in prayer. Take the worry back. I know the verses to say, but letting them penetrate my heart is another thing.

My heart and mind finally rested after the kids went to bed. That's when the anxiety hit. Not being able to catch my breath to the point I think my lungs are going to explode from the pressure if I don't. That's when I realized the anxiety hits when I relax. So then I can't relax and end up part of the night wide awake thinking through all sorts of scenarios that don't even make one iota of sense.

Funny how God works, though. He placed us in a church where I am attending a women's bible study of which I knew no one the 1st night and will be doing a study called Calm My Anxious Heart. How fitting.

5 comments:

anne said...

Yeah, I don't think panic attacks are all that good...I do however think it's awesome that your group is doing that study! You are and will always be well-provided for in every way. Especially your sweet heart.

Jean said...

You're exactly right. We have not gone hungry or without despite what things look like on paper. We have been blessed beyond measure and know we won't ever go without what we need. Thank you my friend for your sweet words.

Cheeky said...

How fitting indeed that you are doing that study right when you need it.I trust that God's word will provide the peace you are seeking in your life.

Jean said...

Thanks cheeky!

carolazzi said...

I hope you are rested. I am gonna leave you with some verses to read. They are awesome and always help.
When you are tired, read Matthew 11:28-30, when you can't figure things out, read Proverbs 3:5-6; when you are afraid, read II Timothy 1:7, when you are worried and frustrated,, cast all your cares on GOD and read I Peter 5:7. I am so happy to have you as a friend and want you to believe that God is doing what He needs to do for you in His due time. Don't feel anxious.