This morning I read the following verse:
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
I asked Jesus to show me His peace today and that I would be mature enough to see it (something that stuck from the women's retreat this past weekend).
In part of my brain I took this as "pray that everything will work out in how I see is best and it will". Yes...well, we all know that's not how things work.
At around 10:30 this morning the phone rang, I saw that it was Ed's work number (thought it was Ed), but it was my boss (we work for the same company). I thought there was some work for me to do and he was calling to see if I could hop on and do it. Then I hear, "I have some difficult news to share with you" and continued on explaining that with another loss of a customer for the company, there was a meeting with the board this morning, of which was discussed how they were going to stay afloat. One way was me being let go.
don't cry. don't cry. don't cry.
I somehow managed to make it through the phone call and after he said sorry so many times and how this couldn't have come at a more difficult time for us, I finally said that it's not his fault the way the economy is and that I understand. I hung up and immediately called Ed (he sits right outside our boss' office so I'm guessing the door was closed), he answered and all he heard was me sobbing.
I've had to explain to our 6 year old why mommy doesn't have a job after he asked why I can't work any more. I somehow managed to explain in kid terms what happened and stressed that we don't need to worry. That God will take care of us. Verses popped into my head of:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin."
I wasn't expecting my morning prayer to be answered like it was. He was right there, patiently waiting for me, offering His peace. And I have to say that without it, things would not be pretty.