Saturday, December 04, 2010

looking back

As December starts and will quickly end, just as every month has this year, I wanted to write a "looking back" post.

I must say that I have loved this past year of my life. When the year started, I was staring at the mid-30's coming at full speed and wasn't quite sure what exactly to expect.

January was Ed's 40th. Surprising him at school with his best sherpa in tow was the way to start out the year with a big bang. Seeing Ed smile and be able to rest in his friend and have life breathed into him couldn't have been more pure.

On my birthday in February, I went and got my haircut. I decided that this was going to be a memorable year. 10 days later I was on a plane to MI to surprise a friend for her 30th and stay with another friend. A very quick trip, but a very memorable one.

I found myself the day before I came back to WA at a tattoo place with my friend Anne. Inwardly rocking back and forth trying not to let the needle sounds get to me. I was escorted into a room, had a mark put on my nose, said yes, and narrowly escaping passing out, got my nose pierced.

Two weeks later I started going to therapy. I hit a place in life where I was feeling stuck. For years I had felt this way. I had no words, no emotions, not a whole lot going on inside of me. It was one of the best choices I made for myself and even a ways to go yet before I can be done, I have met myself and have gotten to know me, of whom I like.

April found me in a running store, buying a pair of running shoes. Why in the world would I want to do something that gave me shin splints and exploding lungs? With the right kind of shoes and a slow pace, I had met a new love. I'd tie the shoes on after work, pop my ear buds in and hike it down to the lake, run around it and collapse back at my car feeling wonderful. It's a time where I don't think. I can't. I've tried and it's impossible. I just be. It's cathartic. Exfoliating. Cleansing.

The summer sped by with working long hours and then September hit. Ed began his last year. The kids are in school full time, me at work full time and between school and internship, Ed's schedule is a 4 day regular work week. I've had to learn to plan for the following week on my day off and have succeeded and failed. I'm still getting into the groove of this crazy routine knowing that it's going to change again next month.

November was an exciting month knowing we were headed to MI for Thanksgiving for the holiday and my dad's 80th birthday surprise. Keeping that secret was excruciatingly hard. We stayed with friends for two days then headed to my parents to surprise my dad. That Saturday my mom threw him a party and had lots 'o people show up. Even my Uncles from Northern Ireland and my youngest brother from FL. My family was all together for the first time in 10+ years. It was magical.

December 4th. Today. I ran a 5K. Never in my life did I think I would do such a thing. It was A. Mazing. The feel of accomplishing something on this level was unbelievable. It was only 3+ miles, but a grand 3+ miles. Seeing my family all bundled up at the finish line was the cherry on top. I pushed myself (with being sick I had only been able to run twice in the past two months) very hard. It's such a mind over matter sport. And it was worth every single step.

So I look forward to the next year. It's going to be a big one. Ed graduates in less than 7 months (29 weeks to be exact) and what then? Another move? New jobs, schools, area? Back to MI? Stay here? Only time will tell. And I'm so thankful that I don't have to worry about it. We have been praying from day one that we will end up exactly where God wants us and believe we will.


anne said...

Somehow I feel like the nose piercing sent you into therapy.... ;)

You had a great year and I can't wait to see what this next year brings.

ps: I have a pretty good guess where I think God wants you...just a'sayin'.

Anonymous said...

After reading that it makes it sound like the pierce put me over the edge. :)