Sunday, August 16, 2009

Beginning and end

One year.

One year ago today we walked onto an airplane headed to a destination we knew nothing about. A life full of question marks.

After a few months, I didn't think I would survive here. I was ready to pack up and head back to MI. My bubble had been popped with no chance of being glued back together.

I remember attending a picnic for Ed's school the week after we moved and listening to people who were 2nd year students talk about all the disruptive happenings of their first year and thinking, "we are pretty solid already so I don't think it's going to be that bad."

Boy was I wrong. It hasn't been bad by any means what so ever. Just disruptive, lots of tears, lots of conversations, lots of learning.

Also things like
loneliness
sadness
hate
bitterness
frustration
uncertainty
touches of depression
a shell of a smile
emptiness


Then things like
laughter
forgiveness
hunger
a different type of contentment
love
grace
mercy
stretching
learning
smiling
country music

I have found myself in situations I never dreamed I would be. I've been stretched past what I thought previously was my breaking point. But looking back, I was being prepared for where I am now.

After six months, Jesus provided a temporary job that has turned into a "permanent" position. I am now the shuga momma.

We landed in a house that I struggled coming home to every day as it's darkness seeped into my soul. 11 months later, Jesus provided us a house that is bright and full of colors and warmth in a neighborhood that is simply amazing.

Our family has been knit together even tighter than before.

I am now the wife of a 2nd year student who, I'm sure, will have the conversation with an incoming student who doesn't yet know what is coming.

Our marriage was solid, but now it is stronger, deeper. Jesus has built our 14 year marriage for this season. Difficult discussions, hard changes, learning to leave and cleave, a deeper love that I never, ever thought possible.

Loneliness still lingers with every phone conversation and e-mail with my peeps in MI, but results in more prayer for them. I love them and miss them dearly and am all the more thankful for them as I have tasted true friendship. That is a rare thing indeed.

Year one is done. Year two is beginning. What will this year bring? Only time will tell.

6 comments:

beth said...

wow, jean.... i honestly can't believe it's been a year!! in some ways, the time has flown - but in others, it seems like soooooo long ago that you guys moved.

it's wonderful to see the 2nd list - i guess, the first one too, as you wouldn't have the 2nd without the first! praying many more blessings on your fam for year 2!

anne said...

Year, schmear. Let's just talk about how we're halfway done.

Lyndsay said...

That was really encouraging to read, Jean. Your struggles and your successes. And most of go through those emotions at some point even if we don't move away. I know it was a really hard year and I'm really proud of you for even attempting to be positive about it. :]

Jean said...

thanks my friends. :)

Hillary said...

Jean! My heart is so happy reading this!

Luanne said...

Im proud of you too Jean!! Moving away is really hard! I've done it :) You are an amazing wife with an amazing heart and we both know God puts these struggles in our lives to prepare us fot the next chapter we will be entering!!

Continue to be grateful!! I will be praying for YOU!!