13 amazing years

May 20, 1995 I said "I do" to the man of my dreams. I was but a child (at age 20), but the one thing I knew was that my Savior placed this man in my life so I could experience an adventure like never before.

What an adventure it has been.

I still had 4 years of school to complete (it was the 6 year plan) and you sacrificed so much for me to be able to finish my degree.

We somehow made it through the first couple years of you being to work at 6 a.m. and me being in school full time and coming home from work at 11:30 p.m. every night.

You introduced me to backpacking (amidst mosquito's and hyperventilating) and I thank you for not listening to my pleading of leaving me at the camp site and making a boat come and get me.

From finishing school, to job changes, to moves, to babies, to life choices for our future, you have always been by my side. Never wavering in your love for me.

We have had several rough patches, but have come out stronger. We have learned about ourselves through each other. Our marriage has been stretched so tightly and yet we have not broken. Our Lord has carried us many a time and we have used His example to carry each other many a time.

I will not ever forget this past weekend of celebrating our marriage. From wanting to impress you on the hardest mountain biking trail I have ever done, to climbing the ski hill to the tippy top and celebrating communion together. From reading scripture to sitting humbly with the wind whipping around us, having my feet washed in a gesture that moved me profoundly. From kneeling before you, weeping with thankfulness for your friendship, sacrifice and example while washing your feet, to praying together.

Thank you for living this adventure with me, for loving me when I'm grumpy, crying and have no idea how to express myself. Thank you for your patience. For being you.

I look forward to the next weeks, months and years of where God will take us, use us and grow us.

I love you.

Today was an amazing day. Ed went for his morning ride to the ski hill while the kids and I "slept in" (until 7:15 today!!). Ed and Sam had talked about going mountain biking later in the day and Ed has wanted me to come along for the longest time. So I called my brother and sister-in-law of whom were going to be home and would love to play with the smallest one of our family. Bikes were loaded, GU was distributed in the bladder packs and off we went.

I was actually pretty nervous about riding. Last time I was out there (2 years ago? 3 years ago? I can't quite remember) I clipped some trees with my handle bars and went off. Sam has been out there more times than I have. Also, I have heard many stories of guys throwing up, others who have broken bones, concussions, and have seen many pictures of gashes and flowing blood. So, yeah, I was scared. This was also the first time I've ridden off road with clip shoes. THAT was my biggest fear. I think I pictured myself every way possible of what would happen if I wasn't able to unclip my shoes from the pedals. Falling down a hill. Falling into the stream. Running over Sam. Going head first into a tree (that had happened this morning to one of the guys Ed rode with), breaking bones, flipping over the handle bars, scraping flesh off exposed body parts (it's only a flesh wound!). So yes, I had worked myself into a fine mess.

We dropped off the Little Miss, drove a bit to the bike parking lot and started on our way.

Sam lead, Ed was the middle and I brought up the rear. 30 seconds into the woods I hear this screaming. I thought it was Sam saying "HEEEEYYYYYYY!!!!" and both Ed and I said, "What Sam?". The 2nd time we heard it, we thought it was a bird. The 3rd time, both Ed and I stopped as we heard it loud and clear coming from a spot we just passed. it was a continuous scream. We hopped off our bikes, told Sam to stop and started heading towards the noise.

This is what we found.

















We're pretty sure it was born that morning as it was still wobbly on it's legs. Isn't this the CUTEST little thing EVER? It's bleating cries tore at my heart. I wanted to scoop it up and take it home. It came out of the woods and walked right up to Ed and looked at him with those big brown eyes and kept on bleating. I have never seen wildlife this close. You could see its fur crusted where it was once wet from being born. All the intricate white dots on its back. The spider webs stuck to its eyelashes from the bush it emerged from. It was breath taking and absolutely amazing. What an amazing experience that will probably never happen again.

We didn't touch it (though we wanted to SO bad) and it finally went up the hill, all the while bleating for its momma, and we had to continue on.

So I didn't throw up (though every time we stopped during the 1st two sections, I had to talk myself out of it), I came home with no broken bones, I only have one small gash on the back of my calf, I made it through this crazy stream crossing, and one of the things I absolutely loved watching was Ed. Seeing him in his element, seeing him come to life, seeing him wield his strength on the hills and with his bike.

The other thing I loved was seeing Sam in a different venue. He didn't complain once. He encouraged other riders going by. He encouraged me so many times. He was so proud of himself for making it up huge hills. He wiped out, got back on his bike and kept going. He was a huge example to me in the area of attitude.

Yes, I was outnumbered in gender and ability, but it will be one experience I will cherish deep down for a very long time.

Today our daughter went under the knife. Trigger finger on her right thumb. If she didn't have the surgery, she would eventually never be able to bend her thumb, so surgery it was. It was outpatient, but she 1. still had to be put under and 2. had to be cut open. That was enough to make me nervous and toss and turn in bed throughout all of last night.

5:30 Ed and I were up to get ready. 6:10 we left. 6:40 got to the medical building. 7:30 had to write her initials on the thumb she was having surgery on (only to check it so many times I lost count afraid I initialed the wrong one and mess everything up). 7:50 she was put under. 8:10 the doctor was done. snip, snap, sew and that was it. We blew that popsicle stand by 9:40 and headed out to get a pancake for the princess who looked ready to jump in the boxing ring complete with bandaged right hand and a left hand taped to hold on that Barbie band aid which was holding on more gauze (to stop the bleeding from the IV entrance).

She's doing amazing and has bounced back full force. We were given a prescription for tylenol with codeine, but waited to fill it. So far, she has been going on two regular strength chewable tylenol tablets.



We had to take some fun pictures to remember this day by (hence the jumpsuits and hats over faces to make her laugh). Her only tears have been when she tries to use her right hand and isn't able to.














She's a huge trooper. I'd be milking it for all its worth, but not her. So many times I've gone to help her and she looks at me and says, "Stop please. I can do it myself." Addah girl.

splintered

Have you ever felt like you've been hit with a 2x4 right between the eyes? I don't mean literally. More specifically, spiritually. This has happened more than once this past week and let me tell you...it leads to one hurting head and eyes that see oh so much clearer.

The 1st 2x4 was more like a wake up call. To pray.

The other 2x4's were at church last night. I asked to have a Sunday off of helping lead music (thank you Anne!!) to sit through a service with my husband. We decided to attend Saturday night and sure enough..I end up in tears by the end of the sermon. Our pastor taught from the book of James and how having joy through all sorts of trials is a choice.

Some trials given where joy can be chosen:
Loosing a job: ding! yes to that one.
Cracks and rocks in the marriage: ding! yes to that one.
Financial stress: ding! yes to that one.
Waiting for a house to sell: ding! yes to that one.

Choosing joy: loud annoying buzz: haven't chosen that one.

Being refined and coming out on the other side looking like a nice shiny, beautiful gravy boat (it does make sense if you heard the sermon) is so much more worth it than being filled with envy and frittering my life away. Being broken so something else can be built up and come out stronger. Choosing joy is not easy, but so worth it on the flip side.

I still haven't sorted out everything that is going on inside.
I'm still messed up from all the 2x4's last night.
And it's a great thing.

tiny tidbits

All 2T and 3T pants that are high waters (but fit in the waste) for Alina make amazing capri's when rolled up. No need to buy capri's for the summer! Sweet!!

Recipe for trimmed off pieces of a homemade pie crust. Roll out, brush with butter, sprinkle with cinnamon sugar, cut up and bake. Tasty little treats! Would be fantastic drizzled with chocolate sauce on top of ice cream...

Free entertainment and exercise at the airport viewing area. Lots of room to run and picnic tables to eat at while watching airplanes take off and land. We did that between the downpours today.

$1 off coupon for grocery store brand ice cream that is already on sale. End up paying $1.50 for a 1/2 gallon. Can't beat that!!

Pureed spinach mixed in spaghetti sauce for that extra veggie.

I had bread dough left over for the calzones (that were filled with spaghetti/spinach mixture), so I cut the leftover in half and gave one chunk to each kid. Instant playdough they could roll, cut up, and even eat if they wanted to (rolling pin, cookie cutters, bread cutter and pizza cutter). Quick clean up with no crumbs and into a baggie for each they went, to be pulled out the next day. They literally begged the next morning after breakfast to play with it.

knocking itself senseless

How many times will a Robin fly into the window before it tires out? Too many to count.

Yesterday a Robin decided that our sliding door needed to be flown into. Repeatedly. Smudging and pooping all over the squeaky clean door. It was starting to become annoying. Sam found his sword and went outside yelling, "GET AWAY ROBIN!!!!" chasing it around the yard with sword held high. That worked for about 20 minutes. Then it started back at the door. I finally closed the blinds and that seemed to work.

But said Robin was not done ramming itself senseless into clear glass. Sure enough, that same Robin had come to the front of the house and started on the living room windows. It would sit on edge and stare in the house to catch its breath before starting again. It was very nerve wracking having a bird looking in at you. At one point it turned around and mooned me. Lifted it's tail and squished it up against the window. Now seriously bird, did you really have to do that?

So I closed all the blinds to the front windows. I refused to turn on the lights as it was now dark in here. It finally went away.

Until 7:00 this morning.

I thought one of the kids was up making racket in the kitchen. I flew out of bed ready to scold him or her as Ed was downstairs meeting with a friend. By the time I got to the hallway, I heard their snores and knew right away what it was. Robin. I refuse to sit inside with the blinds closed all day long. Anyone have any ideas how to get rid of this bird?

pajama time!

Tonight is what we call pajama movie night. We've started a new family tradition on Friday nights of getting our jammies on, taking dinner downstairs (on top of lots of blankets so the new carpet is spared), and watching a movie together. I missed the 1st jammie-movie night of which the 1st part of Gone With The Wind was viewed. The 2nd jammie-movie night was the 2nd part of Gone With The Wind (we're still perplexed as to why the kids wanted to see it and why 1 out of 2 of them stayed awake through the entire movie). Tonight is the 3rd edition of jammie-movie night. Homemade pizza is on the menu (bbq chicken for 2 adults, chicken and pineapple for 2 kids). I think the movie choice is going to be The Wild. I'm looking forward to it already. The kids ask for it every week and I hope it continues as a tradition they carry on with their families some day.

The search has begun. I updated my resume (more like wrote an entirely new one) yesterday. By days end, my head hurt and my body felt like it had been squeezed one too many times through a pasta maker. Before last week I didn't have to think about what I would be qualified to do. I had spent the last 8 years with the same company, the past 7 years doing the exact same job, thinking it was the job I would have until I was ready to move on. When that security rug is yanked unexpectedly from under you, it's one hard fall.

Last night looking at my completed resume (thanks to my amazing husband), the thought crossed my mind, "This is what I have done the past 10+ years. All my work has been reduced to one piece of paper." Am I really qualified to enter the work force?

I sent out my first resume last night and was pretty nervous about what would happen if I got this job. I could totally do it and actually have the experience for the qualifications. It's all the unknown questions that come with working outside the home. I then told myself to take it one step at a time.

This weekend will consist of purchasing a Sunday paper to scour for more jobs. This is a whole new realm that I did not think I would have to do until after our move. I should know better than to think I have everything worked out.

So the trusting continues. I cling to God's promise that He will not let us go without what we need. Seeing His faithfulness the past week and a half has been humbling and eye opening. Experiencing encouragement from others has calmed my heart from worry and humbled my soul knowing that I and our family are loved. We have not gone without and it has been a hard, but good, stretching experience that I am learning from daily.

so on and so forth

With it being almost an entire week without a job, I've found myself sitting, staring at my computer not knowing what to do. I'm not used to not working. For the past seven years I've had the same job, being able to work at home and be here when Sam comes home from school, to make dinner every night, to be here when Ed gets home from work, to watch both of our babies grow.

So I am now starting to fill the days with having the house spic and span, just in case the realtor calls for a last minute appointment. And play with Alina. Polly's, Color Wonder finger paint, markers, crayons, more Polly's and so on and so forth.

Also I've found myself looking every 2 minutes at my blog roll. At the news. The weather. Even the grocery ads. Chatting with anyone that's available. Looking at the blog roll again. The news. The weather. I know very soon that this is not going to be a luxury. With losing a job, other things must go away too. One being internet. So if by chance you e-mail me and I don't respond for days, I'm really not ignoring you. I promise. I'm realizing that I may actually HAVE to TALK to people on the phone! How crazy is that!?!

This morning I read the following verse:

Phil 4:6-7
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

I asked Jesus to show me His peace today and that I would be mature enough to see it (something that stuck from the women's retreat this past weekend).

In part of my brain I took this as "pray that everything will work out in how I see is best and it will". Yes...well, we all know that's not how things work.

At around 10:30 this morning the phone rang, I saw that it was Ed's work number (thought it was Ed), but it was my boss (we work for the same company). I thought there was some work for me to do and he was calling to see if I could hop on and do it. Then I hear, "I have some difficult news to share with you" and continued on explaining that with another loss of a customer for the company, there was a meeting with the board this morning, of which was discussed how they were going to stay afloat. One way was me being let go.

gulp.

don't cry. don't cry. don't cry.

I somehow managed to make it through the phone call and after he said sorry so many times and how this couldn't have come at a more difficult time for us, I finally said that it's not his fault the way the economy is and that I understand. I hung up and immediately called Ed (he sits right outside our boss' office so I'm guessing the door was closed), he answered and all he heard was me sobbing.

I've had to explain to our 6 year old why mommy doesn't have a job after he asked why I can't work any more. I somehow managed to explain in kid terms what happened and stressed that we don't need to worry. That God will take care of us. Verses popped into my head of:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin."

I wasn't expecting my morning prayer to be answered like it was. He was right there, patiently waiting for me, offering His peace. And I have to say that without it, things would not be pretty.

Today I watched a man dig a hole in the yard,
stick a piece of wood in it,
hang a piece of plastic from it,
and I cried.

and so it begins

the papers have been autographed.
the sign goes up Monday.
i even dreamt about signing papers all night.
no wonder i'm so tired this morning.

and so begins the daily upkeep of house.
keeping on kids to clean up after themselves.
teaching a new routine to a 4 and 6 year old.
keeping on myself to clean up after me.
especially the kitchen.
keeping up on laundry!
ugh.
being ready for the call that someone is coming in 5 minutes to look at the house.
i've never been in this type of position before.
i didn't realize all the pressure that comes with it.

i'm not the most tidy person, so this is going to be quite the challenge.

This is Ed after getting up at 3:30 a.m. Saturday morning, painting the entire day until 11:45 at night, getting up at 6 a.m. Sunday morning and painted until 5:30 a.m. Monday morning and slept until 6:45 to get up and move furniture for the carpet guys. (and was up at 4:30 a.m. this morning to finish painting).











This is me after staying up until 11:30 Saturday night (after cooking and painting all day), getting up Sunday to go have a blast and exude a ton of energy leading 1-4th graders, running around after church for dinner and free drinks and staying up until 1 a.m. painting. (i was pretty much useless Monday).





My husband is amazing. I love working with him and I think we make a great team. :)

pop goes the weasel

I remember getting my mom a plaque for her 50th birthday that said:


Middle age is when you hear Snap, Crackle, Pop
and you're not eating cereal.


I've been snapping and crackling for the past few years, but today was the pop. Last week I celebrated the 33rd anniversary of my birth and today I am feeling every one of those 33 years. I had hurt my back last week bending backwards while painting the ceiling. It took awhile to heal and the pain was almost gone. Until today. While taking the garbage out with my hair icing up and my nose hairs freezing and dropping off like icicles, I slipped and righted myself only to hear the infamous pop. I managed to get the garbage out, came in, popped some red pills and turned on the heating pad.

If you can avoid it, don't get old. It's not fun and roses.

happy heart day

There are many things that make my heart happy. 3 in particular are:

1. My amazing husband whom I have loved, and has loved me, through many mountains and valleys, for the past 16 years.
2. My always thinking son who has now figured out how to unlock the bathroom door (from the outside) with a quarter.
3. My adorable daughter who loves others, pink, and dancing.

Happy heart day everyone!

monkey business

I've been wanting to use this piece of dishware ever since it was purchased at the amazing paper sale I and some friends went to before Christmas. This platter called to me. I heard it the moment I stepped in the door. It looked all lonely and forlorn sitting there, so I just HAD to buy it. Today I broke it in.

This fine specimen of a platter is holding today's first attempt at monkey bread. My eyes were weary looking for a recipe that used homemade dough instead of pop-the-can biscuits. Finally after searching high and low (more like up and down arrows) I found one that used home made dough AND used the bread maker. Double score!!

It is still sitting on the platter. Ooey and gooey. Alina's licking her chops and I'm typing as fast as I can so I can scramble over and pull that first warm, yummy morsel off the side. Gut feeling is it will be gone tomorrow.

yummy (healthy) treats

Now that the bread is gone, I needed something to snack on today. And I knew it should be healthy. Alina was asking for some crackers today, which of course we don't have any. I remembered seeing a homemade cracker recipe on 101 cookbooks. So I scooted over there and started perusing. In her post she said these tasty crackers would go well with midnight hummus. Hmmm...that sounded interesting. So I clicked on the hummus link and I actually had everything to make it.

So today I tried two new recipes. For the midnight hummus, I used black beans instead of the beluga lentils and only put in a 1/2 teaspoon of cumin instead of the 2 teaspoons it called for. I didn't have the semolina flour for the crackers so I used regular white four. They took longer than I thought to roll out, but it made SO many (at least 150+ crackers total) it was well worth it. I was wishing I had some parmesan cheese to sprinkle on them too, but alas, I used it all for the alfredo sauce I made the other day. Herbs I used were dill weed and oregano and spices were a turkey rub and paprika. Alina was eating them as fast as I was taking them out of the oven. Super easy! Yummy and I'm thinking better than store bought crackers.

Here are the recipes if you're interested.

Olive Oil Crackers
Midnight Hummus

yummy treats

Some new things that have been made over the past few months. And no, none are REALLY good for you, but that's why they're treats!!

Yummy gummy gum drops! Super easy and tasty to boot!










Teapot cake for Anne's baby shower













Cinnamon Swirl Bread (from Taste of Home's Contest Winner cookbook). I made this this morning and it filled the house with an amazing aroma.





No time for commentaries. Another piece of bread is calling!

brain is toast. i think it's all the paint fumes that have been inhaled over the course of the weekend. And I should be worried when Ed sprayed the crack sealant (it's like spray paint but for wall/ceiling cracks) my words were, "I really like the smell of that".

Non flowing conversation.

Sam: Mom, bad news. I broke my backpack zipper.
Me: Huh. We'll just look downstairs for another one.
Sam: Mom, guess what. I'm lucky. I only have 2 homework papers.
Me: Great! You'll fly right through them.
Sam: Mom, guess what!?! (this one was said with a brilliant smile). I just counted to 210 while going to bathroom. By 5's!
Me: Wow! Great job!
Sam: Mom? Can I have a W.H.O.L.E. cupcake for dessert tonight?
Me: sure.
Sam: For snack can I have peanut butter on strawberry frosted mini wheats?
Me: Ummm....if you want to?
Sam: Will I die? If I mix them, will they make poison?
Me: No.
Sam: Do you want some? Have you ever tried it?
Me: Uhh...no thanks.