Surrendering open hands to the Maker's will does not come easy.
A war between self will and His.
Clenched fists.
10 fingers.
Holding on so tightly.
White knuckles.
Realizing that you HAVE to let go.
To surrender the frustration.
The worry.
Doubt.
Ever so slowly the fingers open.
Not out of force, but of one's own choosing.
Each joint creaks.
Until palms are open.
Wide.
To let go.
And receive.
Being vulnerable.
Washed in peace.
Tears.
Deep rest.

meandering

It's raining. And thundering.

It's 2:37 a.m. and thanks to some knucklehead kids running down the street yelling at each other, I am wide awake.

My other half is gone for tonight and tomorrow scouting a trail. I hope he's fast asleep, snuggled in his sleeping bag.

Kids are snoring.

A nice breeze is coming through the window.

An ant on steroids crawled across my arm and scared the begeebees out of me.

I'm not a big fan of the dark.

I do like listening to the rain though. My favorite place to listen to the continuing cadence of water drops is snuggled up next to my husband in a tent.

I should probably go back to bed.

choices

Making choices is sometimes one of the easiest things to do and sometimes one of the hardest things to do. It is unbelievable how many choices come to head each day. Little choices like what to eat for breakfast or when to brush your teeth. Larger choices like the severity of discipline your child should get after disobeying comes a bit harder. Choosing a budget and sticking to it. Internal decisions/battles that can affect your being or catapult you back to square one. An array of choices.

I made a choice awhile back to take a break from something that was part of my everyday life. It was made after hearing the pastor of our church talk about taking one thing to fast from and try it for a month. Evaluate after the month and one would find that if a person can live without it one month, why not try for another. How in turn, fasting from something external can affect your internal thought process and the choices of what should/shouldn't be said out loud.

So I prayed about what to fast from and a month later, like a two by four upside the head, I was clearly given an answer of what to fast from. I made it a month. Two months. Then that little voice said, "You can make the choice to stop fasting. You can handle it. You've made it this long and are stronger now than you were months ago. Go ahead." The voice was so faint. Barely above a whisper. Hardly noticed. Unfortunately it was listened to and acted on. The choice was made to indulge and how quickly I sped right back to square one. You would think, "Lesson learned. That will not happen again." Square one has been visited more than once.

That little voice is so persistent. Every day. Day in and day out. It doesn't give up. It also doesn't get any louder, but keeps a steady beat that doesn't skip. Barely audible until I realize almost too late. Funny thing...it doesn't tell me the consequences I will face if I make the choice and accept what it says. That would obviously defeat the entire purpose.

I have had outs. I have taken the outs to keep myself in check. For these I am so very thankful. Prayer, husband, friends, accountability, and learning to change the thought processes and just some.

Overall it has been a very good choice. I am glad my Lord brought it to my mind
and that despite how hard it was to give up, I obeyed. Have failed, learned from the failure, failed again, had to learn again and humbly ask for forgiveness and continue on. Thankfully He is a forgiving Savior who grants grace that is so undeserving and is there to help in all my choices. Easy and hard. Day in and day out.

weekends

Last weekend's anniversary celebration was chalked full.

It started Friday night with dinner out at a great local eatery with friends and then viewing Nacho Libre which caused side splitting laughing.


Saturday started with breakfast at another great local eatery, a drive to the lakeshore where we ditched the vehicle and hopped on our bikes for a couple hours. We then devoured a light snack while sitting by the bay, changed for dinner, ate way too much at a fanstastic restaurant and ended with flurries by the shore.




We also were surprised by a kite festival that was taking place. Neither of us had seen kites as big as some were. It was extremely windy by the shore and we watched one kite literally drag a man on his stomach across the beach until another man grabbed his legs and was able to stop him.



Sunday was church, mom-in-law taking us out on our official anniversary, a quick nap, video shoot at a car repair and then home to do house/yard work.

Too sum it up, Monday came waaaaaaay too quick.

Another weekend is sneaking up on us and this time will include a trip to the parents homestead where three out of five of us siblings are gathering to help the parents do some landscaping reconstruction (or I should say destruction). Then it will be a trip back home with one day filled with church and dinner with friends and then one day working on the yard.

Whew! I'm ready for a nap!

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

closed

The Eatery will be closed for business this weekend due to a celebration.

12 years ago tomorrow a wedding took place bringing together two, much younger, people. Since then, there has been four moves, two kids, 5 vehicles, vacations, highs, lows, memories and a growing friendship like no other.

I am so very thankful for the man I married.

Today we celebrate.

A day away.

I love you Ed, for our life together and for many more years to come.

Tonight's feature

Tonight at The Eatery, there was a shortage of ketchup. So instead of going out and buying a bottle, I figured it couldn't be that hard to make it from scratch. With little time left before the homemade fries were done, a quick making recipe was located with all ingredients found in the old mother cupboard.

The survey (two restaurant regulars under six and one over 35) said thumbs sideways to down. The chef agreed.

Too sweet.

The hands are itching to experiment again and the kitchen is rearing to go.

The next recipe has been found.

Will it be too salty?

Or just right?

Results to come.

The Eatery

The Eatery. Now open.

Main course: Homemade chicken and brown rice soup chalked full of yummy veggies.

Salad: Organic mix of spring greens, topped with rippened red strawberries, crunchy sunflower seeds, perfect pecans and dressing of choice.

Dessert: Small bowl of non homemade icecream. :)

randomness

I find it rather odd that my computer says it is 84 degrees outside yet here I sit with a short sleeve shirt on, a long sleeve sweater, long pants and a pair of socks. And the air conditioning is not on. Can't complain about that!!

Princess has a long sleeve/pant jumpsuit on sitting next to me making snakes and bread out of the play dough (and I was informed that the snakes do go in the bread so the snakes can say "sssssss"). Will be some fantastic bread!

We received yet another gift in the mail on Saturday in which we are able
to use for our anniversary this weekend. Humbled and awed again by
God's blessings being showered upon us during this season of our lives.
Living the message that our pastor spoke about yesterday. Choosing to
be content with what we have. Choosing to not go away for a weekend and
being blessed in a totally different way where we are now able to "get
away" for a bit.

During my morning study, God made me aware of some issues going on in my heart. Issues I was completely unaware of until the brick hit me between the eyes. A wake up call, if you may. Now learning to fully accept Christ's forgiveness on these matters even when I feel like I don't deserve it. Learning about His grace and mercy
all over again.

recap

Monday: Finding out that clamp on biking shoes are a lot harder to get used to than what was previously thought. Learning that the brain is one tricky instrument in how it interacts with the rest of the body. Your eyes SEE that the right foot is FREE from it's restraint. The brain says, "HELOOL!!! Your right foot is FREE, lean to the right!" and yet the body says, "Must get off on the left. Must get off on the left. Must get off on the left." in which case, the left foot is NOT free and the driveway comes rushing up very quickly to meet you, still connected to your bike. Then finding out that the grass is softer than the driveway, not by much though, and that the bike is still just as hard when it sandwiches you between itself and the ground.

Tuesday: Receiving a "need you to come and pick us up" call while on a walk with the princess. Two roaring trains of thought were: broken bones or blood. Blood was the winner. A chin full of skin is implanted on the pavement in the neighborhood behind us, left by an adventerous, thrill-seeking, bike-riding six year old.

Wednesday: Learning once again to be patient with what the future holds for our family. Waiting is a word that is becoming cemented in our brains.

Thursday: Finding a 2nd humbling blessing in the mail that still leaves us speachless. Meeting someone new. Staying out until 11:30 and not realizing it.

Friday: A bright, warm sunny day of playing baseball in the driveway, enjoying strawberries and baking.

Saturday: A party for a good friend and her little baby.

Sunday: Time to reflect on the week, worship with a multitude of others and celebrate two women in our lives who have given so much of themselves.

cleaning

With the warmer weather here, we have been sorting through what to get rid of in our home. I have found a swap place on-line for the city I live in. It's like an on-line garage sale. My list is growing. Bike, dresser, furniture covers, bunk bed, and I'm sure the more I dig, the more can be sold.

It amazes me how much "stuff" we have. How fortunate and blessed we are for the home we have, for the items in it. I was once again reminded Monday night of how nothing is mine. I'm just the caretaker for the things loaned to me. It was the kick in the rear end I needed. Not just take better care of material things, but my husband, my kids, my body.

So as spring cleaning takes place in our home, it's also a time for me to spring clean my soul and try to get rid of the excess "stuff". To take better care of what has been given on loan to me, but to take better care of myself too.

hopeful

I think it's here to stay.
Days with no coats, boots, snowpants, hats, gloves, or mittens.
Sunshine.
Flowers!
Seeing the earth wake up from it's very long drousy hibernation.
Spring Peepers.
Colors.
To have it arrive is a sweet fragrance.
Renewal.
Newness.
A new season.
Here to stay.

doozy of an outcome

Sam's 6th year has started out with a big bang, including the twirling stars.
Yesterday was the yearly checkups for both kids.
Healthy as horses. Good to know.
Last night, Sam was playing baseball with a friend and was hit smack dab in the forehead. On top of that, he tried to hit the ball and ended up hitting himself with the bat right where the ball hit. Drop, stop and roll took place. Well....more like drop, stop and scream.
This morning he woke up needing to throw up and had a 102+ temp. He went back to sleep on the couch until 1:00.
My mind started whirling with concusses thoughts.
Ended up back at the doctor this afternoon.
Diagnosis?
Strep throat.
Who knew? I told my friend that it was probably a blessing that her son hit
Sam with the ball since that was the main reason I took him to the doctor. Otherwise it could have been days before we went, which would've not had a nice sunny outcome.

15 seconds after the medicine was ingested, he was feeling much better. Stomach groans stopped. Then I strongly suggested the two of them watch tv as the wrestling ensued and a 2nd child with strep around here is something that can be done without.

I'm ready for a nap!

The big 6 in 07

Another year has flown swiftly by in Sam's life. Hard to believe a year ago he was in preschool. Now he's learning to read, sound out words, write sentences, add,subtract, and trying to bravely learn to ride his bike without training wheels. He still loves any sport, wrestling, riding bikes with dad, but has added I Spy, being in charge of making mac and cheese, computer games from the library, space, ocean life, and checking the weather every day to his list of favorites.

So to go with his favorites, he wanted a basketball cake, received his very own biking gloves, an apron and an I spy book. Along with a gift certificate for painting his room (in which he chose blue, white and orange: Denver Bronco colors), NFL blanket and sheets with all the teams helmets on it to go on his new bed.



It was a very happy birthday and he had a huge blast!! Playing with his favorite tall
friend, trying out his biking gloves and breaking in the new apron as he made his favorite breakfast the next day. Scrambled eggs. The breakfast of 6 year old champions!

4 out of 4

The other three have already posted about our Chicago trip, so you can go to their blogs and read their hilarious thoughts about our trip.

I thought I would let your eyes feast on some phrases and experiences that were seen, heard and said throughout the weekend.

"You like Deeeelilah?" from neurotic, crazy cabbie driver at 11:00 on a Friday night.

"Ohhhh monkey! Don't eat that screw!!" Sarah

The two step (or a variation that was learned) being done waiting for the L and walking down the street by Hillary.


$3 lunch at Higgins Tavern.








"That's a lot of fried food on one plate." Said by each of us at one time or another sitting at Giordano's pizza.



"She's bound and determined to get a picture of a seal isn't she?"









"My picture is better than yours!!" :)












"Flip, toss, toss, toss." Glinda from Wicked.

To sum it all up, the time went waaaaay too fast, was so much fun, couldn't have been more natural meeting two lovely ladies for the first time in person and we're ready to do it all again. Very soon!

FINALLY!!!!!!!!

It's finally here!!!! In less than 14 hours the train will be pulling away from the station.

Where am I going? Why to Chicago!!!
Who am I going with? Anne, Hillary and Sarah!!
What are we going to do? Eat food, talk for hours, see Wicked, and who knows what else!
Why you ask? Why NOT!?!

Sarah suggested writing what our pre-impressions are of each other as we have not met face to face. So here are mine:

Anne:
I have the privilege of knowing Anne in every day life. She is a fun, sensitive, loving woman who lives her passions, has a rock solid marriage and really is married to a rock star. She has creative juices running through her blood, is always on the lookout for a good book, finds solace on the hammock with a kitty in the sun. She's a good Voice. :)

Hillary:
A grade 5 teacher in Canada. She is FULL of laughter and life. Her heart is so tender and compassionate to her kids at school and her friends. She loves to dance, hike, camp, and travel across the world on her own. She grabs life by the horns and lives each moment to the fullest. I think her vibrancy and energy is going to easily seep into all of us this weekend.

Sarah:
She has a heart for teenagers (hence why she works in the youth group), loves her cat even when he/she is about to bite her, puts up with the torrents of squirrels, loves to bake, likes football (that's a guess from one of your posts Sarah), has a blast with her friends, is close with her family and laughs. A lot.


We all have been looking forward to this weekend for what seems like months. I have to say though that my mother and mother in law have been asking all sorts of questions about "the others" who I am meeting. I can understand their concern,
but I have no qualms about this weekend what so ever. More excitement at meeting people I know in person!!

Which leads to realizing that I need to do laundry and pack still.
Looking forward to seeing you ladies tomorrow!!!! ;)

A new memory

Earlier this week, I was reading through the Advance paper, that is
placed in our mailbox on Wednesdays, and my eye caught a picture of our
city's symphony. It brought back memories when Ed and I were dating,
and he would take me to hear the symphony. The music stirs me. To the
point of tears. It soothes me and I feel like I am being bathed in
solitude and quietness. I could sit for hours with my eyes closed
basking in the crescendo's, let the feel of the soul of the music glide
right over me. To hear notes on a page come alive to the point of being
able to see the journey you are being taken on. So, all that to say
that I love listening to a live symphony.

I was able to feel all of this today. And I was able to take it a step further by exposing our children to it. The article in the paper above was about the symphony performing a Lollipop concert. I read on curious as to what this was about. The reading of Zin, Zin, Zin A Violin by Lloyd Moss was going to be acted/played by the symphony. Our son was given this book by one of our friends who is a band teacher in IL and it has become one of the favorites in our home to be read.

With Ed in the UP this weekend, I decided that this would be a perfect opportunity to get out of the house, learn something new and have fun doing it, experiencing one of the things I enjoy, and doing all of this with our kids.

To sum it up, it was enjoyed by all three of us. We were able to talk about the different types of instruments, how the music made us feel during different points in the concert, and learned to see with our ears the book being read.

It was a great way to start the weekend and a memory I will carry with me forever.

kiss me*, i'm Irish

With St. Patrick's Day tomorrow, my Irish heritage shines extra bright. Not green mind you, but a nice hue of orange.
Admiration and awe mingle when I think of my dad, at the young age of 21,
venturing on a ship from N. Ireland to come to America with his friend.
Hearing stories of my grandfather, whom I never met, working as a milk man. Of my great grandfather being a lamp lighter. Of my father as a bread delivery man forBrusters Bread. Having explored with my husband the land I am a part of, and learned more of my ancestry by walking, hearing, tasting Irish culture. Being able to pass on this heritage to our children.
And the food. Penguins (not live ones mind you...), dulce, crisps, shortbread, snowballs, fish and chips smothered in gravy, orangina, biscuits, flake bars, Quality Street candy, the potatoes my Aunt Jennifer makes, Cadbury, tea sandwiches, scones, HP sauce.
Learning how to say "cow" with the correct intonation based on what county my relatives live in. Smiling every time Michigan is said (more likeMitchigan instead of Mishigan). Hearing the wee ones talk in the Irish cadence that makes my words seem so flat.
Oh to go back. To glimpse the ocean in Port Stewart. To see the boat yards
in Belfast. To smell the sea side. To hear the various lilts of voices.
To sit and chat with cousins, aunts and uncles.
Being able to say I am an Irish lass and am very proud of who I am.
I just may have to put the dual citizenship to use....


*Ed only please. :)

odd day

Today the weather dock on my computer says it is 71 out.
I am wearing a pair of capris.
I did not wear a coat outside.
My exercise for the day was shoveling snow.

I'm sure stranger things have happened, but to me, this seems pretty strange.

The kids are down in the valley playing in the pool (up to their knees) of melted snow. The snowpants can be washed. They can take showers. The snowpants can be washed. They can take showers. Breath in. Breath out. I. Can. Handle. This.

sense alert

I noticed some colors today while out and about that I haven't seen for
a very long time. Not really THAT long, but when all you see is white
every day for three months straight, a speck of color is noticed.

Green:
Grass. Actual, living grass. An oxymoron if I say so myself. Green grass nestled right up against the white snow.

Black:
To some, this is a very bleak color. But to me, seeing the black of the
driveway brings excitement for more outside play. The bikes can be
removed from the hangers. The scooter and assorted toys will once again
flood the garage and be in full use.

Red-Orange:
Now this color was the most exciting of all. I thought my eyes were deceiving
me. A quick detour in the vehicle proved me wrong when I saw the
movement of this color proudly displayed on the breast of a robin.

It's almost here. You could actually smell it today. Feel it in the clear,
warm air. A taste of what is to come. Almost. So close. Just out of
reach.

Spring.

A pretty pink day

Today was a pretty big pink day in our home. Hello Kitty came to visit in several different ways, celebrating our princess' 3rd brithday.

Pink Hello Kitty sheets for her new big girl bed (that used to be her mommy's).










Hello Kitty pillow.






Hello Kitty cake.












Strawberry Shortcake was also added in as the princess asked for a Shortcake apron. Thankfully after 3 stores, Shortcake was spotted. Purchased. Sewn just in time. And to compliment the apron, Grandma's gifts were kid's cookbooks which we can't wait to try out!



The day ended with hand dipping in the frosting (that wasn't covered yet) and reading of her new Curious George Visits the Chocolate Factory book given by her big special friends. :)